To Be Similar
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Her hands shook when she read the letter, but she knew what she had to do even if Tikki didn't approve. *Written for the Miraculous Challenges Forum and for the Dark!Bug Challenge by Anne.*
1. Chapter 1

Marinette stared nervously down at the letter before her, and she couldn't help but gulp when she quickly read the name for who it was to: Ladybug, in elegant cursive writing that lodged a boulder up in her throat.

Her hands shook as she opened it up to find that the inside was addressed much differently yet still in that same flowing script as the outside.  
'Dear Marinette Dupain-Cheng,' The letter began.

'I've come to the conclusion that you are Ladybug and that you really like my son, Adrien Agreste, and if you would like him to still attend classes and have any right to spend time with his best friend or not be on lock down in my house just as he almost was when you took my book. I have the means to make it impossible for him to enjoy any kind of social life under a busy schedule and a lock down with private tutors in my house.' It was formal, but yet just as threatening.

'I may be able to cripple Cat Noir as well, and if you want him to not be captured and for my son to have any kind of freedom, you must join my side and bring me Cat Noir's Miraculous without fail. After all, we are a lot alike, and I see that you are the planner, the strategist, of you and Cat Noir. You are more than likely to be able to succeed at this mission where all of my past Champions have failed.' It ended with no signature, but then again, it didn't need one.

"Hawkmoth." Marinette breathed as she stared down at the innocent looking letter that held her heart captured in its dark claws; her fingers trembled, and she wasn't quite sure what to do.

She couldn't let her partner get captured if Hawkmoth wasn't lying, and he was obviously a very capable man to distinguish who she is behind the mask when even her partner couldn't and certainly if he had power over her, he could have power over Cat Noir.

Ladybug wasn't a quitter, and she'd never considered herself the sort to quit the fight for good, just because of the power that the enemy held over her; even if she hadn't been in love with Adrien, she'd still have wanted him to be free enough to live his own life.

If Hawkmoth so chose, he could easily destroy his son from the inside out with manipulation and years' worth of abuse; she couldn't live with herself if she let that happen.

Adrien has the right to a free life, to not being abused under Hawkmoth's thumb, and Ladybug was willing to fight for him though she couldn't simply pull him out of his house and hide him up in someone else's house, because then the police would be called and Gabriel had more than enough money to destroy any attempts at her protecting him without going through with his plan.

On top of that, she wouldn't let Hawkmoth simply take Cat Noir's Miraculous and do whatever he planned to do to him; Cat Noir deserved better than to be harmed, because Ladybug wasn't confident enough to protect him as well.

She'd never been the best kind of Ladybug to begin with, let alone one that always makes the right decisions.

* * *

No one says a word when Ladybug storms into the office buildings, they just watch as she confidently strides past offices full of staff hard at work, confidently strolls past models preparing for an upcoming show, going through fittings.

Adrien finally catches sight of her, but she doesn't look over even when he walks beside her.

"L-Ladybug, what are you doing here?" Adrien looks more than a little out of his element to see her here, he'd stopped even before getting fully dressed to chase after her, his suit coat hangs limply off of his shoulder as his other arm isn't even in, and his hair looks disheveled either from the running or the fact that he hadn't quite had time to fix it up yet.

She ignores him, stopping only when she sees Nathalie.

"May I go in and talk to Mr. Agreste?" Ladybug's eyes are hard like granite, and she doesn't have the energy to fidget.

"Certainly." Nathalie gives her a half surprised stare regardless and yet opens the door for Ladybug to slip in, shutting it before Adrien can fully step into the room.

"Mr. Agreste." Ladybug breathes, trying to find the words that no amount of planning makes easy as she stares up into his steel grey eyes and hopes that her heart isn't rotting at it's edges just by being here, confronting him.

"Yes, Ladybug?" His voice is smooth, smoother than butter, "I didn't expect you to show up transformed."

"I can't believe that you'd willingly hurt your son, but I know more than you may know, how much despite everything, he still loves you, how much he wishes that that scarf of his was from you, and I know that I can't trust you to make the right decisions for your son's sake, let alone trust you to care even an ounce about Cat Noir, so I'm here to join your side. Their well being means more to me than letting you walk all over them the way you do. I used to believe that you were somewhat distant but a good person deep down, a good designer, a role model, but I can't believe that anymore. I am joining your side, but I won't trust you." A part of Ladybug hopes that she doesn't sound too harsh and yet another part wishes that she could twist a knife into his chest, tearing and ripping his heart out along with it.

"You are more like me than you realize, Ladybug. You're passionate, and your heart rests on your sleeve more than your chest, and I can assure you that I've been there before. You love with all of your being, the same way I love my wife and need to bring her back into my son and I's life. You are creative, often spending hours lost in new projects, and despite how I seem now after years of learning to act reserved, you are as emotional as I was when I was younger and as emotional as a part of me still is." Gabriel smirked, the picture of calm, "This feeds you, makes you stronger, and I believe that regardless of what you say now, this will become something you like."  
Ladybug felt nauseous, her heart fluttering in her throat.

"I don't see the resemblance." She stood strong; she couldn't bear the thought of being similar to this man at all, not anymore.

"Oh, Ladybug. You are just the sort of woman that I'd trust my son to. You know how naive he can be, and I trust that you'd take care of him better than me one day, and you're a much better fit than that Bourgeouis girl after all." Gabriel spoke easily.

Marinette blinked, trying to regain her calm, just because she'd earned Gabriel's approval to more than date his son, rather marry him, didn't mean anything; he's Hawkmoth.

"Her name is Chloe, she's just as human as the rest of us." She shifted, "Besides your son has the right to pick himself a wife one day."

"You don't think he'd pick you as well? Surely, you know how often he keeps up on the LadyBlog, and of his screensavers for his computer screens. It won't take much pointing in the right direction for him to see your civilian identity as the woman that he'd rather have as well. Besides, like you said, he does love and respect me, and I can assure you that he'd listen to me if I told him that he and Marinette would make a good couple." Gabriel was confident, and Marinette felt both a strong foreboding and pride at hearing his response.

She tried to melt her confident, prideful smile off of her face before it caught Gabriel's eyes, but she knew that it didn't work when he smirked at her, confident that he'd had her beat.

Ladybug couldn't answer him.

"Trust me, I'm sure that I can work out something where you and my son can speak more, and you know, it won't take much when you realize that you have the right to be confident around my son. He likes that about you, if only you shown it more. If he comes to detest Ladybug, surely Marinette will be there to pick up the pieces especially since she'll now work with his father." Gabriel kept adding more, and Ladybug tried to bite back her desire for this, because she was a hard worker, she never took the easy way out and yet this is more tempting than she thought it would be.

"I'm here to protect your son and my partner, not for romance or my own benefit." Ladybug answered, to let confidence pool back into her voice.

"You will be." He smiled though it was cold and pierced through her heart so easily, "You'll show up to work three days a week after class, that will not be skipped. If anyone notices, they'll finally realize that I've credited you with how amazing your hat was though my son was allergic to it, how amazing your designs were for Jagged Stone which I'd caught sight of. You have so much potential, I'd have hired you regardless. Just now, it is in rather unsettling circumstances that you come to stand before my desk."

Ladybug took a deep breath, "I stand by your son's right to pick who he loves, himself. I will not ask him out, just be his friend, and you will not point me out as a potential girlfriend or lifelong partner."

"Alright, but I just wouldn't be surprised at all if his attention went from Ladybug to Marinette." Gabriel shrugged, "Good luck to you, your training starts tomorrow at four, I know that you probably won't need it past fifteen minutes of basic instruction to how my business runs. You are after all a very talented designer and seamstress."

"'Bye." Ladybug grumbles and turns on her heel; she's half positive that Tikki will give her another scolding for her decision again, but she can't back out now.

"Is everything alright Ladybug with my father?" Adrien asks as soon as she leaves the room, and she prays that the office is soundproof when the door is shut.

"Yes, it was a routine check since The Collector. I had to make sure that he had his book back that he'd been Akumatized for and that he was well. Hawkmoth, after all, has created Akumas geared to target Mr. Agreste before , and I wanted to ensure that he was safe and that he'd handled this all well." Ladybug spoke easily though the lies fell flat to her ears, and she was positive that her stomach would remain filled with a black hole swirling anxiety around her for ages after just lying to Adrien.

She knew that during the next Akuma fight, she wouldn't be there to protect Cat Noir and that Adrien would hopefully be unharmed.


	2. Chapter 2

Marinette sat with her head down, staring at a design that she'd been rather half-heartedly working on as she listened to Tikki's voice go near to shrill and back again. The lump in her stomach that felt suspiciously like guilt somehow crawled up to her throat and clogged as well as stole her voice. She didn't say a word.

"I can't believe you'd say that! Master Fu carefully chose someone who would be better fit to be Ladybug than this!" Tikki paused, and somehow in that sudden stillness, Marinette could imagine her Kwami's blue eyes being filled with something akin to guilt as she went on, "Maybe we should just give your Miraculous back." The sadness in Tikki's voice didn't quite stop Marinette from responding this time around.

"I couldn't do that to Adrien! To Cat Noir!" Marinette gulped, the lump in her throat not quite gone, but feeling like an ice pick making it's slow way down; she didn't want to even imagine how painful it would be when it got to that ball of guilt in her stomach.

"What will Cat Noir think?" Tikki hissed back, still disappointed in her Chosen, "He'll just see Ladybug The Betrayer, and Hawkmoth isn't wrong that Adrien would stop seeing Ladybug as someone to admire. Just think about how he'll see Marinette when he knows that she's Ladybug." Somehow Tikki's voice had that edge that did not simply go away or evaporate when she was speaking quietly. Marinette's voice to sound that angry or devastating needed to be raised up in volume to nearly a shout or one.

She felt that dagger twist in her throat and down her back; she was Ladybug The Betrayer, and that felt worse than just being Marinette or Ladybig, and tomorrow, after school, she needed to report to Hawkmoth's company for training that her stomach vehemently denied wanting to go to.

Marinette's head dropped, and she stared at the pink fabric before her. In a sudden rush of anger, she tore it up. How can she be a designer, inspired and encouraged by Hawkmoth? It felt like the worst kind of crime, only second to joining his side.

She tried to pretend that there were not angry-disappointed-sad tears forming in her eyes, ready to drop any second. Marinette cushioned her head by downcast, fallen shoulders, and wondered why her Kwami went silent. Maybe the speech was over, maybe Marinette could be something else than a flop, or maybe Tikki had just given up on her. She wouldn't blame Tikki if she had, though she really hoped that she hadn't.

What is a betrayer more than someone turned evil against what they'd tried to hold on to for so longer? Is she really similar to Hawkmoth? History tends to 'repeat' itself, and she really hates that she could be the next Hawkmoth, though going by a name other than that one, a name once beautiful, now sullied: Ladybug.

They'd know what she'd look like, how she sounded, and her backstory, excluding her identity. No one would know why Ladybug went evil, and the thought scared her to desperate silence as she about crawled to her bed and collapsed on it, far too exhausted to cry until no tear were left, despite how she felt.

Exhaustion took over, and the night seemed far too short.

* * *

'Marinette, you can't skip school, and you have work after.' She sighed as she got ready, as the morning felt far too early, and her nightmares the night before made knots twist further in her stomach. She'd burn Hawkmoth's letter later, when she found a spot that felt proficiently far away from Paris, and she knew that Cat Noir couldn't follow her then. Sometime late, after work, and sometime that Cat Noir couldn't see her as bright as her suit sometimes appeared at night.

She wasn't protecting the villain's identity; she told herself. Ladybug was protecting her own and leaving out the pieces that pointed to why she'd went 'bad,' even though no one knew yet except Hawkmoth, unless he had an accomplice, whom he told. That seemed even worse, and she fought hard against the bile that rose up her throat. No throwing up; it was time for school, and she couldn't risk her parents making her stay home for being 'sick.'

Somehow that word took on new meaning; she was sick in a cruel way by joining Hawkmoth. 'You only joined to protect Adrien and Cat Noir.' She had, but it felt like such a sham as her throat clogged up in the pain and the anxiety that she couldn't quite deny; Ladybug was better than this. Or perhaps, she was worse than this.

Tears filled her eyes that she was quick to wipe away. Now, more than ever, she might as well practice being collected like Hawkmoth, though she hated the comparison with her whole being. Marinette stepped down the stairs, not in the least bit hungry, but knowing that she'd eat regardless to appear normal, so her parents didn't worry, even though they'd be surprised by her early hour. Maybe she'll even go to school early to avoid the long conversations and the admittances that she couldn't admit.


End file.
